A2oz

What is the 70/30 rule in a relationship?

Published in Relationship Advice 2 mins read

The 70/30 rule in relationships suggests that a healthy balance is achieved when partners contribute 70% of their energy and effort toward their shared goals and 30% toward their individual pursuits. This rule emphasizes the importance of both collaboration and personal space within a partnership.

Understanding the 70/30 Rule

  • Shared Goals: This refers to the things that both partners value and work towards together. Examples include:
    • Financial goals: Saving for a house, paying off debt, investing.
    • Career goals: Supporting each other's career aspirations, providing encouragement and feedback.
    • Lifestyle goals: Traveling together, pursuing hobbies as a couple, maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
  • Individual Pursuits: These are activities that each partner enjoys and finds fulfillment in outside of the relationship. Examples include:
    • Hobbies: Spending time on personal interests, pursuing creative endeavors, engaging in solo activities.
    • Friendships: Maintaining relationships with friends and family members outside of the relationship.
    • Personal growth: Engaging in activities that promote self-improvement, such as reading, learning new skills, or practicing mindfulness.

Benefits of the 70/30 Rule

  • Stronger bond: By focusing on shared goals, couples build a stronger foundation for their relationship and create a sense of teamwork.
  • Individual growth: The 30% dedicated to personal pursuits allows partners to maintain their individuality and continue growing as individuals.
  • Reduced conflict: By respecting each other's need for space and individual pursuits, couples can minimize conflicts and avoid feeling stifled.
  • Increased satisfaction: Both partners feel fulfilled when they have the opportunity to pursue their own interests while also working together towards shared goals.

Practical Tips

  • Communicate openly: Discuss your individual needs and goals with your partner to ensure both of you feel heard and understood.
  • Schedule dedicated time: Set aside time for both shared activities and individual pursuits.
  • Respect each other's boundaries: Understand and respect your partner's need for space and time alone.
  • Be flexible: The 70/30 rule is a guideline, not a rigid rule. Adjust the percentages based on your individual needs and preferences.

Related Articles