The real self in person-centered therapy refers to the authentic and genuine core of a person. It's the part of you that is true to yourself, independent of societal expectations or pressures.
Here's a deeper dive into the concept:
Understanding the Real Self
- Unique and Unchanging: The real self is unique to each individual and remains consistent despite external influences. It's not defined by roles, achievements, or opinions of others.
- Source of Authenticity: It's the source of your true feelings, thoughts, and desires. It's the part of you that feels most comfortable and at ease with itself.
- Positive Self-Image: The real self is inherently positive and self-accepting. It embraces your strengths and weaknesses without judgment.
How the Real Self Develops
- Early Childhood: The real self begins to form in early childhood. It's influenced by the quality of our relationships with significant figures in our lives, such as parents or caregivers.
- Conditions of Worth: As we grow, we may internalize conditions of worth from our environment. These are expectations about how we should behave or what we should achieve to be loved and accepted.
- Congruence and Incongruence: When our actions and behaviors align with our real self, we experience congruence. However, when we act in ways that contradict our true self to meet external expectations, we experience incongruence, which can lead to feelings of anxiety, guilt, and depression.
Importance of the Real Self in Therapy
Person-centered therapy emphasizes the importance of connecting with and accepting your real self. The therapist creates a safe and supportive environment where you can explore your authentic self without judgment.
- Self-Acceptance: The goal is to help you develop a stronger sense of self-acceptance and embrace your true nature.
- Congruence: Therapy aims to help you become more congruent by aligning your actions with your real self.
- Authentic Living: By connecting with your real self, you can live a more authentic and fulfilling life.
Examples
- A creative person who suppresses their artistic talents to pursue a more "practical" career. They might feel disconnected from their true self and experience a sense of emptiness.
- A person who always puts others' needs before their own. They might feel resentful and unfulfilled because they are not living in accordance with their real needs.
Conclusion
The real self is a fundamental concept in person-centered therapy. It's the core of who you are, and by connecting with it, you can achieve greater self-acceptance, congruence, and authenticity in your life.
