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What is the difference between obsessive and possessive?

Published in Psychology 1 min read

While both "obsessive" and "possessive" can describe unhealthy behaviors in relationships, they have distinct meanings:

Obsessive

  • Focus: An obsession is a preoccupation with a person, object, or idea.
  • Intrusive Thoughts: Obsessive thoughts are unwanted and intrusive, often causing anxiety and distress.
  • Control: Obsessive behavior is not directly aimed at controlling the object of obsession.
  • Example: A person obsessed with a celebrity might spend hours researching them, collecting memorabilia, and constantly thinking about them.

Possessive

  • Focus: Possessiveness is a desire for exclusive control over a person or object.
  • Control: Possessive behavior is directly aimed at controlling the object of possession.
  • Jealousy: Possessiveness often stems from fear of losing control and is frequently accompanied by jealousy.
  • Example: A partner who constantly checks their significant other's phone, demands to know their whereabouts, and restricts their social interactions is exhibiting possessive behavior.

In summary, obsession is about an intense preoccupation, while possessiveness is about controlling someone or something. Both can be unhealthy and lead to negative consequences in relationships.

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