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What are you not allowed to do during Shiva?

Published in Jewish Customs and Traditions 2 mins read

Shiva is a period of mourning observed in Jewish tradition following the death of a close relative. It's a time for reflection, grief, and honoring the deceased. During Shiva, there are certain customs and practices to observe, and some things are traditionally avoided.

Here's a look at what is typically not done during Shiva:

Restrictions on Activities:

  • Work and Social Activities: It's customary to refrain from work and social activities. This allows for focused time on mourning and connecting with family and friends who come to offer condolences.
  • Entertainment: Activities like watching TV, listening to music, or attending entertainment events are generally avoided. The focus is on honoring the deceased and reflecting on their life.
  • Shaving and Haircuts: Men traditionally avoid shaving or getting haircuts during Shiva. This is a symbolic way of expressing grief and abstaining from personal grooming.
  • Sexual Relations: It's customary to refrain from sexual relations during Shiva as a sign of respect for the deceased and a period of mourning.

Other Considerations:

  • Clothing: While there's no strict dress code, it's generally recommended to dress modestly and respectfully, reflecting the somber nature of the occasion.
  • Talking about the Deceased: While sharing memories and stories about the deceased is encouraged, it's important to avoid excessive discussions that could trigger intense grief or discomfort for others.
  • Loud Conversations: Maintain a respectful tone and volume, avoiding loud conversations or laughter that might disrupt the somber atmosphere.

Understanding the Purpose of Shiva:

The purpose of Shiva is to provide a structured framework for grieving, allowing individuals to process their emotions and find solace in community support. The restrictions observed during Shiva are not meant to be rules but rather guidelines to help create a meaningful and respectful environment for mourning.

Remember: Traditions and customs may vary slightly depending on individual families and communities. It's always best to consult with those closest to the deceased to understand their specific wishes and preferences.

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