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What is the Golden Child in a Dysfunctional Family?

Published in Family Dynamics 3 mins read

The golden child is a term used to describe a child in a dysfunctional family who is often praised, favored, and idealized by one or both parents. This child is often seen as perfect, successful, and capable, while other siblings may be criticized, ignored, or even abused.

Characteristics of the Golden Child:

  • High expectations: The golden child is often held to very high standards and is expected to excel in all areas of life.
  • Over-achievement: They may be encouraged to achieve academically, athletically, or in other areas, often at the expense of their own well-being.
  • Lack of boundaries: The golden child may be given special privileges and allowed to get away with behaviors that other siblings are not.
  • Emotional suppression: They may be taught to suppress their emotions and prioritize the needs of others.
  • Fear of disapproval: The golden child may fear disappointing their parents and strive to maintain their approval at all costs.

Impact on the Golden Child:

  • Anxiety and depression: The constant pressure to succeed can lead to anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues.
  • Low self-esteem: Despite their outward success, the golden child may struggle with low self-esteem and a sense of inadequacy.
  • Difficulty with relationships: They may have difficulty forming healthy relationships due to their fear of intimacy and lack of emotional boundaries.
  • Codependency: The golden child may become codependent on their parents' approval and struggle to develop a sense of independence.

Examples of Golden Child Behavior:

  • A child who is always praised for their academic achievements, even if they struggle in other areas.
  • A child who is allowed to break rules that other siblings are punished for.
  • A child who is constantly compared favorably to their siblings.

Understanding the Dynamics of the Golden Child:

The golden child dynamic is often a result of the parents' own unresolved issues. For example, a parent who was neglected as a child may overcompensate by showering their golden child with attention and affection. This dynamic can create a toxic environment for all family members, as it reinforces unhealthy patterns of behavior and communication.

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